In about a week I am leaving the comfort of my home country to study in Italy for three months. At what point should I stop being in denial about it all? Because it still seems as unreal as it did four months ago when I was accepted into the program. I feel like with a week left, I should feel ready but I feel more unprepared than ever.
Studying abroad was a priority in my college experience from the very beginning. I like traveling and I knew I wanted to find an excuse to spend months in a country, learning in school and out of it. So I started making parameters and slowly it culminated in this.
I had a very simple cognitive process that led me to Italy and, more specifically, this program.
1. I want to submerge myself in the culture.
2. I want to go to a place where I can communicate with the locals.
3. I want to speak the language.
4. I speak English.
5. I should go to England or Ireland.
6. Where would I go if language was no object?
7. Italy.
8. Can I speak Italian?
9. No.
10. Can I learn Italian?
11. Sì.
12. Will I learn Italian?
13. If I take classes.
14. Am I really acing Italian 101?
15. Apparently.
16. Hey, there's a program where I can learn Italian in Italy!
17. Uh, wtf, cognitive process, you just got your answer.
So now I'm off to learn Italian in Italy! Thanks cognitive abilities!
Fast forward to tonight I tell my friend I need a list of reasons/goals/expectations for myself. Big broad concepts that can guide my interpretation of events and experiences. I want to go into my journey with this lense because I didn't do this with college and I actually kind of regret that.
I just went to college because that's what ya do when you are part of the upper middle class socio-economic tier--I knew it was to better myself or get a better job or whatever, but that was based on what everyone in society was telling me, not what I told myself. I never sat myself down and took the time to explain it to myself. At one point this year I finally did and it wasn't very successful because I was already entrenched in habits of my established college experiences. If I could change one thing about college prep, it would be to examine my own reasons/goals/expectations for myself in college.
The one good thing that came from making that mistake is that I learned from it. I know that for me to get the most from this trip to Italy, I need to actively think about what I *want* to get from this trip. I can't just go there and think "I'll learn so much," I think in a way I have to choose what I learn from any experience.
Maybe that's universal. Maybe that's a quirk of mine, in any case, here's my list:
1. Learn the language.
2. Eat the food.
3. Meet the people.
4. See the things.
My friends think I sound like I'm going to conquer Italy. We joked about it for a full 10 minutes tonight, but actually... I like it.
So cheers, to conquering Italy.
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